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Archive for the ‘Experimentation’ Category

Smooth Parallel Parking. Ultimate.

Posted by totallyultimate on July 2, 2008

Being a one-time parallel parker is totally ultimate. Just size up the spot, swing your car into reverse, and feel your way in. No sweat.

This becomes even more ultimate when the size of the spot just exactly equals the size of your car. Double points if your car is bigger (don’t try this).

 

Also double points if you can do it like this:

(Stranana)

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Posted in Experimentation, Lifestyle | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Exam time Procrastination. Not Ultimate

Posted by stranana on June 30, 2008

Every single person I know that has had to study for anything has fallen victim to the evil lord procrastinator.  This is painfully not ultimate.  When he has you in his grasp you are neither filling your head with potentially useful information nor allowing yourself to take a break.  It is most common that you will find some completely inane task that allows your body to feel like it is doing something while your mind stays half way across the milky way.  Allowing this to continue can turn you into a fish.  PUT YOUR REVISION TO ONE SIDE FOR A MOMENT.  GO TAKE A WELL EARNED BREAK.  SEE YOUR MATES.  PLAY SPORT.  GO FOR A WALK

 

Some classic examples of procrastination are:

1)  Typing “ANS * 2” into your calculator to see how long it takes to get an error by constantly pressing =

2)  Playing internet games like “diner dash” and “feeding frenzy”

3)  Going on multiple cigarette and tea breaks

4)  Making a revision helmet out of a cereal box and some masking tape

5)  Making an “Evil Lord Procrastinator” helmet to go and have that ultimate superhero-villain battle to the death with your housemate who is revising hard wearing their “Captain Reviso” revision helmet

… 

I’m sure our readers can think of some more good ones to add, probably while they should be revising.

Posted in Experimentation, Lifestyle, work | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Having Sex with Twins. Not Ultimate

Posted by stranana on June 24, 2008

You find a really hot girl that wants you to bang her… what could be better?  How about two hot girls?  How  about two hot girls that look identical?

This all sounds really hot but is actually another one of those  wolves in sheep’s clothing and is so often passed off wrongly as being ultimate (mainly by plebs).  The reality of this one is they are sisters.  INBREEDING IS NOT ULTIMATE, ergo Having Sex with Twins is Not Ultimate

Posted in Experimentation, Girlies, Lifestyle | Tagged: , , | 12 Comments »

Being Able to Solve the Rubik’s Cube. Ultimate.

Posted by totallyultimate on June 13, 2008

There are two caveats here:

1) You must be able to solve it under a minute. Spending hours playing around with a Rubik’s cube will not only scare away the girlies, but its totally not ultimate.

2) If you don’t do it under a minute, you must do it blind folded, under three minutes. Like this chap here. Despite his appearance, he is unquestionably ultimate.

Posted in Experimentation, Girlies, Sports | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Being able to fit exactly 3 pints into a regulation (regular) size Frisbee

Posted by stranana on June 10, 2008

Ultimate. You wouldn’t think it’s possible until you try it. Make sure the Frisbee is on a flat surface and when you get to the top poor slowly and the surface tension over the large area holds it all in. You then need a straw or two to drink it.

Posted in Experimentation, Sports | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »